some authors could really use a “plot twist limit” or a “you’ve killed too many characters already” notification you know
so im babysitting this girl right now and we’re watching tv and the satellite sort of cut out cause it was raining really hard
so i just said “thunder god if you give back our satellite i’ll give you ice cream”
a second later the thunder clapped again and our tv came back
the girl is forcing me to hold up my end of the deal so guess who’s making ice cream for the thunder god
So in the comics Hawkeye has 80% hearing loss.
The Black Widow is Russian.
Can you imagine when they’re on a mission and something goes wrong; the police are about to arrest them and they fall back on Plan H.
Black Widow, “So remember, you’re deaf and I don’t speak English”
There needs to be a phrase for “I acknowledge your apology and appreciate it but it does not make things better.” instead of just saying “It’s okay.” all the time.
I recognize the council has made an apology, but given that it is a stupid ass apology, I have elected to ignore it.
thank you director fury
— Dude on OKC with the best pick up lines I have ever heard (via katamarang)